A Few Housekeeping Notes

I hate fucking caves, but I know it has to get done.  For fuck's sake, everyone on the YouTube let's-play bandwagon is far passed me, and they had to play the game and then edit the fucking footage to get it on there! Connecting Cave, let's do this--!

Oh, actually, a few housekeeping notes beforehand:

1) Turns out that Pokerus isn't very useful, since Super Training is the most expedited way to EV train your Pokemon now, but I'll still keep one infected guy around just in case.

2) The Tyrunt and the Bulbasaur I got in the Wonder Trade had shitty natures (so I have been told), so instead of using that Bulbasaur to EV train, I gave it away to a friend in exchange for a Pinsir (since they're exclusive to X and I like me some Pinsir); furthermore, I'm just gonna use that Tyrunt to breed until I get one with a decent nature to EV train.

Pinsir:  A Bug-type Pokemon.  See, I knew there was at least one more.  This guy knows a shit-ton of Fighting-type moves, which made him pretty decent, but he was always in the shadows of Scyther or Heracross who just got a better deal on typing and movesets.  Nevertheless, I love him.

3) Super Training is awesome.  I've already maxed out the Attack and Speed EVs on my Riolu and my Pidgeotto, so shit is gonna get real when they evolve.

4) A friend traded me a Ditto in exchange for Pokerus, so she got an infected Skiddo and I got the whore of the Pokemon breeding world.  Breeding will probably not be covered in the blog.

Ditto:  A Normal-type Pokemon.  You don't use these to battle, primarily.  They can breed with almost anything, and you use them to breed your ideal Pokemon.  Catch a bunch, find the right ones with the right Natures, then let those bastards fuck like rabbits until you hit pay-dirt.

5) I found a Spritzee in the wild as I was running around catching Pokemon for Pokerus trades, so I decided I might as well catch it, since you can't find that shit in X.

Spritzee:  A Fairy-type Pokemon.  If I was going to use a straight-up Fairy-type...it still wouldn't be this one because I have no idea how to use them yet.  Still, they're a version-exclusive, so that'll be worth it to use for the Wonder Trade apart from Ducklett.

6) My egg hatched...

...you bet your sweet ass this got a FUCK YEAH.

Charmander:  A Fire-type Pokemon.  Just kill yourself if you don't know the deal with this guy by now.

7)  I've downloaded the patch for the game that is meant to fix the Lumiose City saving glitch, so that should enable me to do a little more exploring when we come back to this city.  I want to go clothes shopping.

8) Because the Pokedex is now all of a sudden only keeping track of the number of Pokemon you've seen and not the number of Pokemon you've caught, I'm going to have to do away with the Pokedex rating in the end-post footnotes.  I'm probably going to be catching and evolving everything under the sun, so I can't be bothered to be doing actual math from here on out.  Especially when there are a lot of Pokemon that I've yet to encounter that I know I'm going to have to catch because of things that have happened in the other blogs.  So...that's now happening.

9) Because this is still a very new game, there are not that many available image sources for my content.  This is a similar issue to the one that I run into oftentimes for "An Iridescent Adventure" because our DM creates a world that has not yet come into canonical existence, so it is my job to fill in the visual gaps in the blog by finding roundabout images to represent what is going on in the best way I can.  So, in order to expedite things, from here on out, I will be writing the blogs and saving them as drafts until I am certain that I can find the appropriate images to supplement them.  That means that I'll be blazing through the game much faster and I'll be able to get more posts done, but publishing might take a little while longer.  Bear with me and I'm certain you won't be disappointed.

Now, without any further housekeeping, we will proceed through the dank, dark, perilous, zubat-infested, fuck-oof cave to get to Ambrette Town.

Frogadier, Lv. 26

Ivysaur, Lv. 23

Kirlia, Lv. 20

Pidgeotto, Lv. 19

Honedge, Lv. 17

Riolu, Lv. 16

Pokedex: 37, Badges: 1

Duck-Butter

Okay...so I've decided to check out this whole Wonder Trade concept.  I mean, why the hell not? Of course, I have to offer up a Pokemon first before I can get a mystery Pokemon...so let's see who I want to send.

And of course, I'll be catching duplicate Pokemon that I already have in order to offer them up.

And of course, you read the title of this blog and probably figured out what I used for Wonder Trade.

Ducklett...nicknamed Duck-Butter.  Do you not know what that is?

You're welcome for that info.  Let me see what I got...

Aww, another Bulbasaur?! And he's Lv. 1! Well, this has been disappointing--

He has Pokerus?! Holy shit! That will double his Effort Values in battle and make him grow stronger twice as fast! And he knows Petal Dance as an Egg Move! Holy shit! I like this Wonder Trade nonsense! I'm gonna catch more Ducklett!

By the way, if you get a Ducklett named "Duck-Butter" in a Wonder Trade...that's from me.  Don't put anything you value in that thing...unless you value Ducklett.

Oh, what's this?

A friend wants to trade with me? Okay...which one?

Ah, okay.  I signed up for this group on Facebook with a few friends of friends to share 3DS Friend Codes and one of the people is offering up eggs.  Eggs of what? You'll know when it hatches.  What will I offer for the egg?

Another Ducklett.

Kirlia, take a back seat for a little while.  I'm gonna hunt more Ducklett and try to hatch this thing.

Ehh, a Flabebe is just as good as a Ducklett in my book.  Wonder Trade, go!

And I got in exchange...

A Lv. 1 Scatterbug named Sadie with Stun Spore as an Egg Move (I think?) and Shield Dust as an ability.    It's just a Bug-type, and those aren't too special...unless you figure that they aren't many pure Bug-types.  Yep...immediate re-trade.

And I got this time...

A MOTHERFUCKING Lv. 46 LAIRON?!? Holy shit, I can't even get that thing in Y!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!

Lairon:  A Steel/Rock-type Pokemon.  God-tier Defense stat and it evolves into another potential Mega Evolution Pokemon.  I'll have to breed a new one, though, since his Nature is crap and that will end up slowing his overall stat-growth.

I don't want to ruin my ridiculous karma on the Wonder Trade, so I think I'm only going to do it one more time.

Go forth, young Duck-Butter!

And my reward for abusing the Wonder Trade is...

A Lv. 1 Tentacool...named TentaclePron.  Well played.  Re-trade.

New Pokemon is...

A Lv. 11 Skiddo.  You just caught this to abuse the system, didn't you? A man after my own heart.  Re-trade.

Now I get...

A Lv. 1 Tyrunt?!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?! AHH!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHH I LOVE HIM!!!!

Tyrunt:  A Rock/Dragon-type Pokemon.  This thing is a home-wrecker when it evolves.  A destroyer of worlds.  One of the best competitive Pokemon out there because of its super-high stats all around and wicked-varied move-sets.

Wait...HOLY SHIT, THIS MEANS I CAN HAVE AN AMAURA TOO!

I'll just pick the Amaura when it comes time to choose the fossils, since I'm definitely gonna need an Ice-type at some point, and I can wait until I can EV train the Tyrunt with my little Pokerus Bulbasaur! This is perfect! Thank you, Wonder Trade...thank you.

Frogadier, Lv. 24

Ivysaur, Lv. 22

Fletchinder, Lv. 22

Honedge, Lv. 17

Riolu, Lv. 16

Egg

Pokedex: 34, Badges: 1

I Cannot Control My Balls

Okay...might have misheard the chateau part of the conversation.  This is definitely a palace.  Cool, though.  Probably a lot of cool shit inside--

$1000 to enter?! For fuck's sake, man! These people are wealthy beyond belief! Why the fuck do you need my money.  Ugh...fine.  It's a good thing I bought way too many Poke Balls and shit before I got here to give a damn about you taking my money.

So wait...this guy lost his Furfrou? Well that sucks.  Excuse me while I pillage your castle--

I'll look for the fucking dog, okay? Just let me loot your home.

Looting...

Looting...

Shit, there's literally nothing in this fucking palace.  I guess I can check outside in the courtyard--

Dog! Stupid dog! Get back here, dog!

Ooh! A puzzle to trap the dog! This should be interesting--

And they held my hand through the entire thing.  Christ, I'm fairly certain GameFreak's attitude right about now is, "Alright, we get it, here's the post-game already."  I mean, I'm still in this for the journey, guys.  You don't have to take things so easy on me--

What's that over there?

It's Cut, motherfuckers! BIDOOF! YOU'RE USEFUL NOW!

I still hate your fucking guts, though.

Anything else here, now that I caught the stupid dog?

Oh yeah...almost forgot that.  Yes, I will need that.  Thanks--

A fireworks show for Shauna and I? Uh, okay...thanks.

This is "the first time you've ever watched fireworks alone with a boy?" Are you...the romantic interest for me in this game? Because that's...unsettling.  You are a little girl.  I am a grown-ass man playing a video game meant for children.  Clearly, my discomfort is your fault.

Okay...Snorlax.

Dudes...play the flute.

Bread.

Snorlax:  A Normal-type Pokemon.  Huge HP stat and Special Defense stat.  You just...can't...knock...it...out.  I really want to try the following setup: Belly Drum (sacrifice 1/2 health to max Attack), Substitute (sacrifice 1/4 health to make a dummy to take hits for you), Rest (go to sleep and gain HP while curing status effects), Giga Impact (an attack with the third-highest power in the game, but it takes a turn to recharge), and give him Leftovers to heal after every turn.

This guy was actually a bitch, since I don't have an Electric-type to paralyze him.  However, he knew Lick, so that meant that I could risk paralysis myself.  Timing and a Ralts with Synchronize and boom, he paralyzed himself.

Now, let's backtrack and cut down all those bushes I've ignored so far! Also, let's catch some Pokemon because I don't give a shit.

Skiddo:  A Grass-type Pokemon.  No Poison-type...just straight-up Grass.  For...you know...stuff.

Nincada:  A Bug/Ground-type Pokemon.  My first Electric-immune Pokemon, and one that will evolve into a massively-cheap, immune-to-almost-everything, game-breaking Bug/Ghost-type.

I've decided that Ninjask, Shedinja, and Gogoat are things that I will eventually want--

BUT THIS IS A THING I WANT NOW!!! AND OH SHIT, I HAVE A LUXURY BALL!!! MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME!!!

Riolu:  A Fighting-type Pokemon.  Since Pancham will evolve later if there's a Dark-type in the party with him, I want a Fighting-type I can just grind mindlessly with, and there's none stronger or faster than Riolu.  It learns sick, sick moves, and it's adorable as fuck...but we'll talk more when he evolves.

We are going to be very happy together...because you evolve from Friendship...and you have no say in the matter whatsoever.

Alright, let's try some new places...like Route 7!

Battle Chateau...Day-Care...cool shit on Route 7, including Pokemon that I convinced myself that I needed.

Croagunk:  A Poison/Fighting-type Pokemon.  He's super-weak to Psychic-type attacks, but he's a sneaky little powerhouse if you train him right.

Ducklett:  A Water/Flying-type Pokemon.  I usually am not fond of this typing, unless I'm fighting it with the obligatory Electric-type that I must have in my party at some point later on down the road, but they are incredibly useful against Ground-types, especially Fire/Ground-types.  Poor Numel...

Granted, the Croagunk is cool, but Ducklett I'm thinking as a secondary HM slave...maybe for Surf and the water-related ones.  And yes, I will freely admit that I cannot control my balls.  I want to catch everything.

There are also Smeargle, which suck, but are pretty decent XP-grinding fodder.

Kirlia thanks you for your sacrifice--

Kirlia:  A Psychic/Fairy-type Pokemon.  It won't learn anything super in this stage, but it has some useful tools when it comes to team battles, like shit to protect against critical hits and a move that heals your teammate.  Really, the benefits here are higher Special Attack and one step closer to Gardevoir.

Hey, Serena! Tierno, Trevor...what's--

Oh shit! Okay...how are we gonna do this?

Serena and I versus the boys? Okay.  Serena, I know you had a Chespin, a Fletchling, and a Bunnelby when last we met.  I got a Honedge that I think will do really well against these yahoos.  Let's see what they've got:

This...this is sadness.  I don't think this deserves a full breakdown, but I'll give you the major points.

- Serena sends in her Fletchling, but the Pikachu takes it out.

- My Honedge is Swords Dancing all day long

- Serena sends in her Quiladin (I know, I was surprised it evovled, too...haven't even fought her yet)

- Quiladin bitch-slaps Corphish

- At full Attack strength, Honedge's Fury Cutter blasts through Pikachu and Flabebe.

That's really the gist of it.  Nothing much more to do here than fix up the berry fields...

Which, by the way, yield five-to-one, so I'm fucking ecstatic about the new berry-farming system.

Serena apparently wants us to go through to Ambrette Town.  Okay, I guess.  I don't suppose we'll be getting near the second gym anytime soon, will we? If so, could we please--?

What the fuck is this?

No...what the FUCK is THIS?!?!?! No...no...

SHIT ON MY DICK I HATE ZUBATS!!!!

Frogadier, Lv. 24

Ivysaur, Lv. 22

Fletchinder, Lv. 22

Kirlia, Lv. 20

Honedge, Lv. 16

Riolu, Lv. 15

Pokedex: 30, Badges: 1

Red Herring!

TO THE CASTLE!!!!!!!!!

And it's a fucking museum...

And the guy running it fucking left me alone in here with Shauna.  What a fucking red herring!

Well, I've looked all around the castle and I've found nothing, and Shauna's been yammering on about Route 7 for a while, so I guess I should go there.  Also, she's physically stopping me from going to Route 6. which is the only other place to go besides Route 7--

Hey, what's down here?

A berry farm? There's a nice change of pace.  I could use some berries--

Only Oran and Pecha at the moment...and I have to grow the trees myself.  Awesome.

Also, there's a weird new mulching mechanic to make the trees grow faster? What the fuck is this, Animal Crossing? Keep the berry shit simple, please.  I'm not a farmer; I'm a ten-year-old who makes his pets fight.

Ah, here we go.  Route 7--

YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME!

So I AM actually going up Route 6 to find the Poke Flute in some perfume chateau, yes? Good.  I'm going to assume there's some wild Pokemon over there, so let me do a bit of swapping in my team.  I don't like how Combusken is outranking my Frogadier at the moment, so he's tagging out; also, I really want my Fletchling to evolve and gain the Fire type, so I'll sub out Pidgeotto, too.  That means I have Fire and Flying covered, but no more Fighting...

I KNOW!

Aww, yeah! Let's go!

This road looks pretty straightforward...

(However, that is not the case...and here's why! Firstly, there are two side-paths that have tall grass up to your fucking eyeballs where you can't see shit but trainers will pop out and challenge your shit without much warning.  Secondly, Pokemon can attack you along the tall grass-line.  You heard that shit right: if you walk by those bushes, shit will STILL attack you! But hey, I can't bitch with what I walked away with from those encounters...)

Venipede:  A Bug/Poison-type Pokemon.  It evolves fairly slowly, but when it does, whoa boy, you better watch your ass.  It's a nice, solid back-up plan for Fairy-types, Dark-types, and even Electric-types, since it can learn Earthquake, I believe.  It's mostly for the Attack and Speed stats, though.

Audino:  A Normal-type Pokemon.  High HP, Defense, and Special Defense, as well as healing moves later on, he's your go-to staller in a tough battle.  Need to revive some of your better Pokemon? Throw in Audino.  Need to heal up but ran out of Potions? Use Audino.

Now, let's actually see what's in the tall grass around here...

Oddish...boring, but somehow adorably-nostalgic.  Caught it.

Oddish:  A Grass/Poison-type Pokemon.  He learns a shit-ton of effect moves like Poison Powder, Spore, and Stun Spore, as well as he might have the Effect Spore ability which is like auto-using an effect move whenever something hits it.  Very useful for catching other Pokemon.

Espurr...unneeded, since Ralts is doing just fine as my Psychic-type--

YOU KID ME.  YOU FUCKING KID ME! FLETCHLING, YOU GET IN THERE AND PECK UNTIL THAT FUCKER IS READY TO SUBMIT! I DON'T CARE IF HE'S MADE OF METALD AND HE HURTS YOUR FACE HE IS A GHOST-SWORD!

Honedge:  A Steel/Ghost-type Pokemon.  First of its kind and one I've been clamoring for among my friends for a while now.  Steel is really only weak to Ground-type, Fire-type, and Fighting-type attacks, but the Ghost-type renders all Fighting-type Pokemon useless.  Super-effective steel wall that's resistant to nearly everything, as well as a solid attacker.

This guy...needs to go...immediately into my team.  But who can I sub out? I don't see a whole lot of redundancies--

Holy shit, you got badass real fast! You're a nasty little cuss, aren't you?

Fletchinder:  A Fire/Flying-type Pokemon.  Now, my ultimate bug-fucker is ready.  Also, if anybody decides to whip out a Heracross, which is Bug/Fighting, this thing will obliterate it with x4 strong Flying-type attacks and the Flame Body ability which can burn the opponent on contact--

Shit, there's more?!

Have I mentioned that I fucking love the Experience Share? Because I do.  I love the Experience Share.  So much.  So very much.

Vespiquen:  A Bug/Flying-type Pokemon.  They're just...they're just so hard to acquire! Combee don't usually come female and breeding these things for perfect stats is a bitch, but at least I can practice with this one and figure out what's what--

Hey...if Vespiquen is Bug/Flying, Fletchinder is Fire/Flying, and Honedge knows Fury Cutter (a Bug-type move), I can get rid of Vespiquen and still maintain team-balance.  GO TEAM BALANCE!

But before we do anything swap-related, I found a TM that everyone and their fucking mother needs to learn...Venoshock.  Ivysaur, you're way on the top of the list for this bad-boy, and Vespiquen, you can drop Sweet Scent to learn this.  It's important.

Now that that's all taken care of, let's wipe up the rest of the trainers here and...

Okay...we need to talk about something.

Asshole dog.  This thing is a fucking tank and has caused me nothing but chaos every time a trainer whips this guy out.  I mean, look at this shit:

Fought a married couple with matching Furfrou...fucking things were nigh unstoppable.  AND IT'S JUST A NORMAL-TYPE!!! I didn't want to do this, but I may have to backtrack and catch one of these fucking things.  I have a feeling that these things are going to be the unsung gems of this generation and I do not intend on missing out on the bandwagon.  DOG! COME TO ME!

That's my boy! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy!

Furfrou:  A Normal-type Pokemon.  Surprisingly-high Special Defense and Speed stats, as well as a nice Attack.  If you want to screw over a Special Attack team, send in this guy.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I should probably head to the chateau.  Maybe new Pokemon? Maybe cool new items? Team Flare showing up? Legendary encounter? Anything is possible.

Frogadier, Lv. 23

Ivysaur, Lv. 21

Fletchinder, Lv. 20

Ralts, Lv. 19

Pancham, Lv. 18

Honedge, Lv. 13

Pokedex: 23, Badges: 1