Speaking of obstacles, now that Bibarel is here, I can get a hold of that Thunder Wave TM. Helioptile...let's get to catching more stubborn Pokemon.
An Electrike!? Shit! Thunder Wave isn't going to work here...but we're not giving up!
Woohoo! Another critical capture...after about 5 Poke Balls. Great? I'll say...sure, why not?
Electrike: An Electric-type Pokemon. I didn't use mine at all in Emerald because he was terrible, but hey, maybe its eventual Mega Evolution doesn't suck all the dicks in the room. I love me my Electric-types, so let's...let's forget about Emerald for a second.
And you know what else? Let' go for a Snubbull, too. I've heard great things about Granbull--
Another critical capture? Very nice. That shit is paying off.
Snubbull: A Fairy-type Pokemon. Now this is the pure Fairy-type I would use. I've seen people use his evolved form, Granbull, to inflict massive damage and take a great deal of punishment in competitive play, but now that he's a Fairy-type, that's gonna open up a whole new realm of possibilities.
So, where exactly does this route end up?
Geosenge Town...interesting. This doesn't look like a gym town, but we'll explore nonetheless.
TM66 Payback from the guy at the Pokemon Center. What does this move do? Dark-type, base power 50, but it doubles if it attacks second? Oh yeah, I better remember that shit--
Team Flare? What the fuck are you doing here?! I'LL KILL YOU--! Wow, that dark...I'm sorry. But still...I'll kill you.
Soft Sand just laying around...Timer Ball just laying around...and a bitch handing out Everstones! That's what I'm talking about! Hell yeah! Breeding control--!
Team Flare again...wandering down a dead end? What the fuck? Don't make me chase you down...
An ancient artifact? What...what happens here? Where did they go? What do I do now--?
Some woman told me that if I want to know more about stones, I should go to the hotel? Oh...okay?
So, some say it's an ancient burial site? For warriors? Like...Pokemon warriors, or regular human warriors? And there are stones like it in Shalour City, too? Very intriguing...but not too helpful--
Oh...there's another route out to the right. Did not see that--
Hey, it's Korrina from Shalour City! What are you doing here--?
Oh shit, now I'm battling your Lucarios! What the fuck, I did not expect this. Okay...let's see how this pans out.
OPPONENT #1: Lucario, Lv. 25 (Fighting/Steel-type)
CONTENDER #1: Fletchinder, Lv. 24
OH THANK GOD I PUT HIM IN THE FRONT OF THE ROSTER! Talk about fortunate. Let's do it!
Swords Dance from Lucario...that's gonna suck.
Ember does NOT do that much damage, and that is upsetting.
Feint hits for a bit of damage, and I'm left with 42/64. Okay, I can survive this.
Ember again and Lucario is down to less than half health. Alright...pray for a burn somewhere.
Another Swords Dance. Gotta take him out soon.
Ember a third time and it's not enough, but the next hit will surely take him down.
Metal Sound ravages Fletchinder's speed, but I don't mind because I got the Ember in and Lucario went down.
OPPONENT #2: Lucario, Lv. 25 (Still a fucking Fighting/Steel-type, stupid)
CONTENDER #1: Lucario, Lv. 30
Alright, missy...let's go hardcore.
Hone Claws...get ready.
Power-Up Punch does 36 damage, and I only have 51 left...so I better unleash hell now.
Force Palm! ONE. HIT. KNOCKOUT! I LOVE THIS GUY! LUCARIO FOREVER!
So...you're saying that once I get through the upcoming cave, I'll be in Shalour City? Cool...but fuck caves. Is there a viable road that doesn't go through the bowels of the earth in order to--?
Nope? Of course not. Why would there be?
Route 11...whole new set of possibilities...and the first of which is a Sitrus Berry to replace all of the Oran Berries I've been growing--Holo Clip!
Professor Sycamore? How the hell did you get this number? I don't enjoy this...
...but there's someone in Shalour City who knows a great deal about Mega Evolution? So be it. I shall visit this guru...after I figure out what the hell is on this route, literally everything before I have to set foot in that cave--
HOLY SWEET JESUS IT'S A NIDORINO!!!! OH MAN, DID MY DAY GET SO MUCH BETTER! In fact, it only got off one Fury Attack on me, and Pidgeotto's Rocky Helmet did more damage to it for every hit than he did! Oh, such a sweet victory, and a sweet, sweet prize if I get my hands on a Moon Stone.
Nidorino: A Poison-type Pokemon. I usually don't like pure Poison-types because they sucked up until the Fairy-type shit came out, but this guy was always baller. Poisons opponents on contact, great offensive potential, and he evolves into Nidoking, who gains the Ground-type and levels houses with so little as a fart. I always try to have a Nidoking with me if at all possible whenever a friend asks me to battle Gen-I-style...because Earthquake-Surf-Thunder will make a grown man cry.
And a Staravia, very nice. Very nice indeed.
Staravia: A Normal/Flying-type Pokemon. Again, same fucking type-combo, same Attack-Speed stat preferences, but hey, I didn't get to play Gen-IV yet, so I'm eager to see what that generation's Pidgeotto is like.
Hari-fucking-yama? Shit...okay, why not! I'm down for one of them, too!
Hariyama: A Fighting-type Pokemon. Pure Fighting-type, but with stupid-high levels of HP. You can't take this thing down easily, especially once it gets past that Level 30 marker. Unstoppable.
TM69 Rock Polish...what is this--?
No time for that! Eevee is coming out of the egg! This Eevee's nature is...Relaxed? That's increased Defense, but lessened Speed. Crap...not ideal. Okay, maybe I should stick an Everstone on my Ditto and work from there and release this baby Eevee. He's just dead space at this point--
Oh, do NOT look at me like that! I'm breeding! I'm releasing it into the wild to be free! Fuck off!
Now...this Rock Polish...apparently sharply raises Speed. Okay, not bad--
A Dedenne! Granted, I hate this thing and it's just the new unevolving, unusable new Pikachu...but I love me my Electric-types...NO, I KNOCKED IT OUT! DAMN IT! Retry--! No, I don't want a Stunky! No, I DEFINITELY don't want Throh! I WANT MY LITTLE SHOCK-WEASEL!
...maybe Chingling if she cooperates, but I want my Dedenne.
She cooperated.
Chingling: A Psychic-type Pokemon. I...I don't know why I caught this one. I...I hope it's good?
Now...where's my Dedenne? I'm not going to bed without one.
And a Nidorina! Hey, if I'm catching the male, I might as well try to catch the female!
BOOM! Now, I shall construct the lordly court of Nido!
Nidorina: A Poison-type Pokemon. Almost identical to Nidorino, but where he leans towards Attack, she leans toward Defense. A great pairing and a very interesting journey from the gender-split Nidoran all the way up--
And no sooner do I say that, a horde of four male and one female Nidoran all appear at once. It's a good thing, though, since Helioptile knows Parabolic Charge...and that shit hits fucking everything.
Memo to self: Team this fucker with a Zapdos or and Electivire. Abilities for the win.
Memo to self: Tom Cedar needs this.
HA! I found you, you sneaky little shit! Get over here!
FINALLY!
Dedenne: An Electric/Fairy-type Pokemon. I haven't thought much about the practicality of this guy, but I imagine this little dude suddenly raping dragons is a sight to behold.
Alright! I can take a break from this shit now and reflect...
Reflection Cave. I swear to God, I did not try to make that a pun. I literally just typed that, then looked at the damn sign--
Don't LOOK at me like that!
Last few orders of business: tend to berry garden and take a look at my Ditto...
It's Sassy! Oh man, that means a Sylveon can be in the works next, and even a tank Snorlax! That's great news! I should come up with a wish-list of what I want and then try to accomplish that shit as soon as possible. I just hope I get Fly soon...this biking back and forth from the daycare is starting to chafe at my nuts...in a metaphorical way...'cause it's irritating--
WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT--?!
AHGODDAMNITNOTNOWABRAPANICTHROWGREATBALLCAUGHTOKAYNEVERMINDENJOYTHERESTOFYOUREVENING!
Abra: A Psychic-type Pokemon. Only knows Teleport until he evolves into Kadabra. I know that Alakazam gets to Mega Evolve now, but I think I'm gonna put my eggs in the Gardevoir basket. Besides, this capture was more for the sheer joy of snagging the elusive Abra. Fuck you, Abra. Open your eyes. You're not Brock.
Frogadier, Lv. 34
Lucario, Lv. 32
Helioptile, Lv. 28
Pidgeotto, Lv. 28
Kirlia, Lv. 26
Badges: 2
Staraptor is AMAZING
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