The Horrors of the Deep Roads

I've elected to hold off on breeding Eevees until I can gain access to a Friend Safari with Ditto in it, so that I don't have to make this a crap-shoot every time I want to breed something.  I'll just catch a shit-ton of them, nickname them after their natures, and then Everstone the fuck out of them when I need them. Since "Sassy" is a really good nature for Snorlax, I have a Sassy Snorlax egg that I'm gonna take with me...since the walking-hatch cycle for a Snorlax is roughly eighty years.  But I think that going through the Reflection Cave after heading back to deal with my berries will be very helpful in hatching that fat little guy.  Okay...cave-time.

No biking or skating, huh? Serious shit...

Carbink? What...what is this? Why is this? I...I still catch you.

Carbink:  A Rock/Fairy-type Pokemon.  Another new combination...because Fairy is still new.  Apparently, he's a defensive beast, so let's see where we can go with that.

HEY! WOAH! Okay...apparently, trainers can battle you by making eye-contact with you through reflections.  This is going to make things very interesting.

Horde of Roggenrola! Ha! That's so sad and adorable.  Let's see if I can snatch one away from the rest of the group...

Oh, they all have Sturdy! It's like my Kirlia's Magic Leaf is a Grass-type False Swipe! This will do nicely...except they knocked out my Kirlia once they were all at 1 HP.  Don't need to overkill them, so I'll send in Pidgeotto--

SHIT THE ROCKY HELMET!! I forgot I gave Pidgeotto the Rocky Helmet, which damages any Pokemon that comes in contact with the wearer.  And they're all dead.  Fuck.  Now there's a Wobbuffet...the competitor's nightmare.  I can't escape it, anyway, thanks to its bullshit ability.  Well...I don't suppose it could hurt to just have one on the side for emergencies.

Wobbuffet:  A Psychic-type Pokemon.  It only knows four moves and will only ever know four moves because it's a punching bag: Counter, Mirror Coat, Safeguard, and Destiny Bond.  Counter takes a physical hit and then deals double the damage to the opponent, Mirror Coat does the same with special attacks, Safeguard prevents status ailments for five turns, and Destiny Bond knocks out the opponent if he knocks out Wobbuffet in the turn he used this move.  He's a walking catastrophe.

I am not getting very far in this cave before having to backtrack and heal.  This cave is fucking me up hard.  But hey, backtracking means extra steps for the egg, right? Good.  No complaints.

Ah ha! An isolated Roggenrola! Now you're mine, and at a higher level, too! Sturdy + Magic Leaf + Dusk Ball = Mine.

Solosis? Huh...a lot of weird Pokemon up in this cave.  Never owned one before, but no time like the present.

Solosis:  A Psychic-type Pokemon.  This guy, even in this early stage, has a high Special Attack stat, so I'm very curious to see how powerful he would become if given good training and good breeding.

MOON STONE!!! Shit...I have two Moon Stone Pokemon! There had better be another in this cave or elsewhere or so help me God...

I...um...a...what? A horde...of Mime Jr.? What the fuck, am I getting mobbed by a midget clown mob? Also, I'm noticing females in the horde.  Can there be...female Mr. Mimes?

That...that is fucking horrifying--

Shit! They completely knocked out my Frogadier?! Damn! That shit wouldn't have happened with a Greninja, dude.  Get on that.  Well, maybe Helioptile can thin the herd quickly--

And the only one left standing...is the female.  I...I almost have to catch it...because it's a terrifying concept--OH SHIT!

A fully evolved, male Mr. Mime! I haven't had really any catch-and-replaces this game, but it's a practice I'm fond of...especially when you are trying to replace something very weird and disconcerting.

Nailed it! Loving my Dusk Balls.

Mr. Mime: A Psychic/Fairy-type Pokemon.  Mr. Mime has always been a tremendous force of Special Defense, but really, I just want it to have it.  Jynx, Farfetch'd, Lickitung, and Mr. Mime always had a special place in my heart because you needed to trade for them in the first games, but they always came with bullshit non-removable nicknames...like Thumper.  I just wanted to catch one of each for myself and control what they were called.  But Mr. Mime...there's just something disconcerting about him that I find appealing.

And speaking of disconcerting...I just encountered a female Wobbuffet...wearing lipstick.

This...why this? And I can't run from this thing because of Shadow Tag.  It's a nightmare.  Just gonna sit tight and slowly eat my hundreds of Oran Berries until it dies.

Finally got away from that thing--

AHH WOOBAT! This whole dropping-down-from-the-ceiling thing is becoming a little bullshit if you ask me...but I gotta catch it because it's new and I have an addiction.

Woobat:  A Psychic/Flying-type Pokemon.  This guy eventually replaced Zubat in later games, but that doesn't make him any less irritating in caves.  Still, he hasn't done anything to me personally, so I'd like to give him a chance.  After all, hearsay is--

Wait a minute! OH FUCK MY NUTS IT'S HAPPENING!

It's been a long time coming, but you're finally here...

GRENINJA!

Greninja:  A Water/Dark-type Pokemon.  Fuck your Psychic-type bullshit, Delphox.  He's fast as nonsense and he's got a sick Special Attack, so he'll definitely be my candidate to learn Surf (which is really the most reliably-powerful Water-type attack, even if it is an HM move).  He shall be my little froggy ninja and he shall strike without mercy.

Bro Level: Over 9000

And he evolves right before we hit the Fighting-type Gym, or so I've predicted in a previous post.  Fantastic timing, dude...but I still love you.  Also, Water Shuriken sounds fucking awesome for being just a Water-type Fury Attack.

Strength puzzles?! Goddamn it, you mean I have to go back and get goddamned Bibarel?! Fuck me...

Okay...I want to keep the Egg in the party, as well as Bibarel, so I now have to be very selective about which Pokemon are useful.

Greninja, Lucario, Ivysaur and Helioptile should be able to cover anything else I encounter in these caves...I hope.

Level 2 of the cave and there's a kind lady there to heal my Pokemon.  Best...game design...ever.

And I found a Black Belt...which is awesome--

Tierno?! What the fuck is your fat ass doing in these caves--?

Oh! Giving me the Flash TM, eh? Sounds good to me! BIBAREL! LEARN THIS, YOU UGLY SHIT!

You...you can't learn this shit?! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!?! I guess I can teach it to Helioptile for now and then immediately reteach it Thunder Wave...but you're on thin ice, beaver...thin fucking ice.

That move...just makes the screen image wider.  I...what was the point in this?

Alright, let's just kick our way through this forest of asses--

Wait a minute, who--?

Holy shit, I forgot you evolved way early!

Huzzah! I mean...Venusaur!

You are going to Mega Evolve so hard...

Venusaur:  A Grass/Poison-type Pokemon.  You should know by now what this guy's deal is.  I mean, I told you about Ivysaur and Bulbasaur.  He's stronger now.  High Special stats.  Move on.

Hey, I also found an Iron...which is now pretty much useless thanks to Super Training, but screw it, I'll hold onto it--

FERROSEED! Oh, I need this bastard way harder than I needed anything else in this cave!

KABOOM, SLUT! IN THE BALL!

Ferroseed:  A Grass/Steel-type Pokemon.  Sure, he's x4 weak to Fire, but he's an environmental disaster and a paragon of endurance to say the least.  Also, he can explode...which is disgusting.

There's an opening that leads directly to Shalour City...and then, there's another set of stairs downward. Errrr...well, I'm only in this cave once...I might as well explore while I have the opportunity.

Okay, the exploration yielded an Earth Plate, TM74 Gyro Ball, and an area of shiny light.  Worth it? Ehh, debatable.

Let's explore the city for a bit, heal my Pokemon up, and--

Mr. Bonding? Umm...heyyyyyy...so, how've you been? Why...why are you looking at me like that? Oh no...it's "bonding time" again, isn't it?

I feel so unclean.

So, I got a Soothe Bell from a lady who is happy that my Helioptile likes me (meaning friendship evolutions will happen faster), Stardusts for helping some woman reach her luggage, an Eviolite for seeing so many Coastal-Kalos Pokemon (which raises Defense and Special Defense of whoever holds it, meaning fuck yeah...but only works on a Pokemon that can still evolve, meaning damn it), and a reminder from those two sad bastards Tierno and Trevor to talk to the Mega Evolution guru in the Tower of Mastery.  Maybe it's over this way towards the sea--

Sweet Jesus.  Uhh...maybe later.

An Intriguing Stone? For me, Tierno? Thanks, I suppose...even though we have no idea what it is or for what Pokemon it can be used.  A for effort, though--hey, my Snorlax egg is moving now! It might be close to hatching! I'm gonna run around in circles for a few hours and pray.  That will be easier than trying to tackle this crazy tower thing now.  Besides, I want my sixth party slot open again.  BREAK FREE FROM YOUR EGGY PRISON, SNORLAX!!!

Ooh, and while I'm running about like a chicken sans head, I'm gonna check out the Poke-Mart--

THEY SELL TMs!?!? FUCK! I NEED, LIKE, ALL OF THEM!

Now I own Dig and Poison Jab--

Uh oh...were there TMs for sale in other cities? Did I...not check?! I'm gonna have to backtrack now, because it will drive me crazy if I didn't pick one up that would have been very useful.  Also, Snorlax.

Not in Geosenge...just balls in Cyllage...not in Ambrette...and not in Camphrier.  I guess it was just Shalour.  Okay, everybody back to Shalour! Let's just head back through the cave and--

HOW DID I MISS THE SABLEYE IN THIS PLACE?!?! GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!

YAY, SABLEYE! You might become important for the Fighting-type gym, so stay close to me.

Sableye:  Before X and Y, this was the formula: A Dark/Ghost-type Pokemon.  Ghosts are only weak to Ghost-type attacks and Dark-type attacks.  Dark-types are resistant to both.  Dark-types are only weak to Fighting-type and Bug-type attacks.  Ghost-types are resistant to Bug and immune to Fighting.  A Dark/Ghost was immune to Normal, Fighting, and Psychic with no weaknesses.  Now that Fairy-types came along, he's weak to Fairy-types.  But fuck it, this dude is indestructible so long as the competition doesn't whip out a Jigglypuff--

Snorlax hatch! Awesome! Big fat baby! You will undergo a vigorous training regimen, designed to make you the absolute strongest--

And you're asleep.  Goddamn it.

Well, if the gym is vacant at the moment and this game is designed like a railroad, I guess I know where I have to go next.

If I don't get to Mega Evolve after this excursion, I'm gonna shit in a fish tank.  Why? Because fuck you.

Greninja, Lv. 37

Lucario, Lv. 36

Venusaur, Lv. 33

Helioptile, Lv. 32

Kirlia, Lv. 28

Snorlax, Lv. 1

Badges: 2