Love The Gible

Pika pika, motherfuckers.

Pikachu:  An Electric-type Pokemon.  Seriously...no, fucking seriously now: if you are reading this blog and don't understand what the fuck a Pikachu is, then honestly, I have no idea why you're even here.  I mean, my mother knows what a fucking Pikachu is and she hates Pokemon with a passion.  For fuck's sake, it's the mascot of the goddamned franchise! They changed it's official cry in the wild to reflect how he sounds in the anime!

So, before I can head out to Route 13 to the power plant (squee of joy), Dexio and Sina come by to upgrade my Pokedex, which is pretty nice of them--

Hold on, let me just readdress this, just in case you didn't actually know what a Pikachu was: the entirety of the Pokemon fandom is in a continuous state of uproar over this fucking rat because it is simultaneously god-like in its powers, able to completely ignore in-game type mechanics, while simultaneously losing to the weakest possible Pokemon out there.  I mean, they gave him his own game...like seven times?! Why are you still here?!?! Do you owe me some kind of favor?! Did you think that by reading this, you were showing me support? If you don't know what a Pikachu is, you're not my target demographic.  Go back to YouTube, please.  I don't want to bore you any longer with shit that you can't possibly find interesting.

So, Route 13 is a stretch of badlands where--

WHAT THE FUCK IS FOLLOWING ME IN THE DIRT?! AM I IN GODDAMNED TREMORS?!?

GIBLE! LOVE THE GIBLE--NO, I FUCKING KILLED IT! THAT THING IS A MEGA-EVOLVING DRAGON/GROUND-TYPE! GODDAMN IT, WHY?!?!?!

Fuck.  That sucked.  At least I caught a Dugtrio.

Dugtrio:  A Ground-type Pokemon.  He's way faster than you'd think, and that's one of the reasons why he was a monster against Lieutenant Surge.  Hell, if you needed a solid Ground-type, there was always a chance to catch one of these bad boys.  And Magnitude was such an awesome move when it got developed because it was like playing roulette with power...and if you hit Magnitude 10, nothing was left standing.

But I am not leaving until I find me a Gible.  That shit is awesome--

GIBLE! LOVE THE GIBLE! A-games, everyone! Gardevoir, get this fucker down low with Magic Leaf! Good, now--SHIT! Take Down? Okay, fuck, it's still alive but it's really close to death.  Don't use that shit again, little dude--

Okay great.  You didn't use it, but you took out Gardevoir.  Greninja...stand in there and make sure he doesn't leave.  I'm prepping the Ultra Balls.

Come on, little guy, stay in the ball...YES! GIBLE! LOVE THE GIBLE!

Gible:  A Dragon/Ground-type Pokemon.  Yes, it's hyper-weak to Ice-type attacks, but it's immune to Electric-type attacks, and is a nasty, nasty destroyer of worlds, especially since it can Mega Evolve.  I mean, just look at what it can turn into and you'll understand:

Now I gotta fly back to town and heal--man, it's good to say that finally.

Hey, there are Trapinch here, too! That's pretty sweet! They eventually become Ground/Dragon-types, too!

Trapinch:  A Ground-type Pokemon.  It will evolve into the Ground/Dragon-type Pokemon Flygon.  Yes, it's redundant.  I'm aware.

Well, both Gible and Trapinch are going to end up being Dragon/Ground Pokemon, so I might as well pick one to focus on for now then worry about the other one later.  Let's look at the Gible--

He's got an Adamant nature?! Are you serious?! Oh, he's getting EV-trained right now! His nature indicates an accelerated growth of his Attack stat and a decelerated growth of his Special Attack stat...which I have no intention of utilizing.  He will be a meaty striker indeed--!

Actually, when does he evolve into Gabite?

Oh, at the next level? Fucking RIGHT NOW! Get out of that PC box--!

Hey, I caught my Mareep at Lv. 14? He's gonna evolve in one level, too.  Eh, let's get him out here for training, too.  Ampharos is gonna be awesome.

Flaaffy:  An Electric-type Pokemon.  Evolving at Level 15 makes this little fella a very handy and quickly-powerful Electric-type to have.  Also, the first Electric-type to have three evolution stages without needing to breed to get the baby form--

YOU HAD BETTER FUCKING KNOW ABOUT PIKACHU BY NOW! I'm just saying.

Okay, this whole training regimen didn't quite work out exactly as I intended.  Thank you, Experience Share.  I still love my Flaaffy, but I need to do more training, I suppose--

Boop! There it is!

Gabite:  A Dragon/Ground-type Pokemon.  Already his Attack stat has jumped fairly high, and knowing that his HP is going to be very high very soon, there will be little to prevent Garchomp's rise to power.

LOVE THE GABITE--!

A pass into the Power Plant? Don't mind if I do!

Greninja, Lv. 43

Lucario, Lv. 42

Venusaur, Lv. 40

Blaziken, Lv. 40

Gabite, Lv. 28

Flaafy, Lv. 16

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