The Yield to Y: A Generation-VI Adventure: I Cannot Control My Balls

Okay...might have misheard the chateau part of the conversation. This is definitely a palace. Cool, though. Probably a lot of cool shit inside--

$1000 to enter?! For fuck's sake, man! These people are wealthy beyond belief! Why the fuck do you need my money. Ugh...fine. It's a good thing I bought way too many Poke Balls and shit before I got here to give a damn about you taking my money.

So wait...this guy lost his Furfrou? Well that sucks. Excuse me while I pillage your castle--

I'll look for the fucking dog, okay? Just let me loot your home.

Looting...

Shit, there's literally nothing in this fucking palace. I guess I can check outside in the courtyard--

Dog! Stupid dog! Get back here, dog!

Ooh! A puzzle to trap the dog! This should be interesting--

And they held my hand through the entire thing. Christ, I'm fairly certain GameFreak's attitude right about now is, "Alright, we get it, here's the post-game already." I mean, I'm still in this for the journey, guys. You don't have to take things so easy on me--

What's that over there?

It's Cut, motherfuckers! BIDOOF! YOU'RE USEFUL NOW!

I still hate your fucking guts, though.

Anything else here, now that I caught the stupid dog?

Oh yeah...almost forgot that. Yes, I will need that. Thanks--

A fireworks show for Shauna and I? Uh, okay...thanks.

This is "the first time you've ever watched fireworks alone with a boy?" Are you...the romantic interest for me in this game? Because that's...unsettling. You are a little girl. I am a grown-ass man playing a video game meant for children. Clearly, my discomfort is your fault.

Okay...Snorlax.

Dudes...play the flute.

Bread.

Snorlax: A Normal-type Pokemon. Huge HP stat and Special Defense stat. You just...can't...knock...it...out. I really want to try the following setup: Belly Drum (sacrifice 1/2 health to max Attack), Substitute (sacrifice 1/4 health to make a dummy to take hits for you), Rest (go to sleep and gain HP while curing status effects), Giga Impact (an attack with the third-highest power in the game, but it takes a turn to recharge), and give him Leftovers to heal after every turn.

This guy was actually a bitch, since I don't have an Electric-type to paralyze him. However, he knew Lick, so that meant that I could risk paralysis myself. Timing and a Ralts with Synchronize and boom, he paralyzed himself.

Now, let's backtrack and cut down all those bushes I've ignored so far! Also, let's catch some Pokemon because I don't give a shit.

Skiddo: A Grass-type Pokemon. No Poison-type...just straight-up Grass. For...you know...stuff.

Nincada: A Bug/Ground-type Pokemon. My first Electric-immune Pokemon, and one that will evolve into a massively-cheap, immune-to-almost-everything, game-breaking Bug/Ghost-type.

I've decided that Ninjask, Shedinja, and Gogoat are things that I will eventually want--

BUT THIS IS A THING I WANT NOW!!! AND OH SHIT, I HAVE A LUXURY BALL!!! MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME!!!

Riolu: A Fighting-type Pokemon. Since Pancham will evolve later if there's a Dark-type in the party with him, I want a Fighting-type I can just grind mindlessly with, and there's none stronger or faster than Riolu. It learns sick, sick moves, and it's adorable as fuck...but we'll talk more when he evolves.

We are going to be very happy together...because you evolve from Friendship...and you have no say in the matter whatsoever.

Alright, let's try some new places...like Route 7!

Battle Chateau...Day-Care...cool shit on Route 7, including Pokemon that I convinced myself that I needed.

Croagunk: A Poison/Fighting-type Pokemon. He's super-weak to Psychic-type attacks, but he's a sneaky little powerhouse if you train him right.

Ducklett: A Water/Flying-type Pokemon. I usually am not fond of this typing, unless I'm fighting it with the obligatory Electric-type that I must have in my party at some point later on down the road, but they are incredibly useful against Ground-types, especially Fire/Ground-types. Poor Numel...

Granted, the Croagunk is cool, but Ducklett I'm thinking as a secondary HM slave...maybe for Surf and the water-related ones. And yes, I will freely admit that I cannot control my balls. I want to catch everything.

There are also Smeargle, which suck, but are pretty decent XP-grinding fodder.

Kirlia thanks you for your sacrifice--

Kirlia: A Psychic/Fairy-type Pokemon. It won't learn anything super in this stage, but it has some useful tools when it comes to team battles, like shit to protect against critical hits and a move that heals your teammate. Really, the benefits here are higher Special Attack and one step closer to Gardevoir.

Hey, Serena! Tierno, Trevor...what's--

Oh shit! Okay...how are we gonna do this?

Serena and I versus the boys? Okay. Serena, I know you had a Chespin, a Fletchling, and a Bunnelby when last we met. I got a Honedge that I think will do really well against these yahoos. Let's see what they've got:

This...this is sadness. I don't think this deserves a full breakdown, but I'll give you the major points.

- Serena sends in her Fletchling, but the Pikachu takes it out.

- My Honedge is Swords Dancing all day long

- Serena sends in her Quiladin (I know, I was surprised it evovled, too...haven't even fought her yet)

- Quiladin bitch-slaps Corphish

- At full Attack strength, Honedge's Fury Cutter blasts through Pikachu and Flabebe.

That's really the gist of it. Nothing much more to do here than fix up the berry fields...

Which, by the way, yield five-to-one, so I'm fucking ecstatic about the new berry-farming system.

Serena apparently wants us to go through to Ambrette Town. Okay, I guess. I don't suppose we'll be getting near the second gym anytime soon, will we? If so, could we please--?