Alright bitch, let's head into this forest and find some shit. Maybe Pokemon, maybe items. Who knows.
Oh, I guess everyone from the picnic table has decided to explore this same forest at the same time. Okay, I can get behind that, I guess.
This is pretty cool, though. I can grind like a motherfucker if Shaua is just going to be my walking Pokemon Center. Still, I don't know how I feel about this being so "easy". This sure as shit ain't no Hoenn.
Trainers! Let's do this! Fletchling is out for blood!
Yeah, bird! You and Pidgey are gonna be good friends.
Uh oh...I think I know what that means.
SHIT! I have a Water-type and two Flying-types! Electricity is not my friend! This thing easily fucks my Fletchling, but Froakie still has a solid level advantage.
Good boy. Let's just pound our way through this forest and find ourselves a legit Pokemon Center...or a professor. You know, whichever is convenient.
Wait...these fuckers are in the wild in these woods?
Yeah...no. Nope. Never. Fuck these guys. FUCK these guys. Hate 'em. Go die. They have some of the absolute worst stat-spreads on the planet and they only evolve from using elemental stones, which I'd rather use on anything else. Besides, these sons of bitches don't even get any good type attacks, so I'd rather leave them in the woods to fuck brambles raw-dog.
Alright, we're out of the forest. And actually, that's a very good question, Shauna. What the fuck are we doing?
Serena's going to the...gym?! There's a gym in Santalune City! Holy shit! Wow...I think I'm going to comment on the streamlining of this game many times throughout this blog--
Bitch gave me her "10 Adventure Rules"? Girl, I've played Pokemon since I was 12. I think I know what I'm doing.
And what I'm doing...is finding more Pokemon and gearing up to challenge that fucking gym! I wonder what kind of wild Pokemon are around here...
More Bunnelby, some Burmy, some Fletchling...nothing really interesting. Even if Bunnelby eventually becomes the first Normal/Ground-type Pokemon, I'd rather go for any other Ground-type than a rabbit. Hell, the trainers around here have a better variety of Pokemon than the wilds of Route 3. Oh well.
Beautiful Santalune City. Now, if there's a gym in this town, that must mean that there's a proper Pokemon Center and a proper Poke-Mart...right? I mean, come the fuck on. How could there not be?
Oh...it's right there. Okay. Maybe I should take a look around for--
I'm sorry Miss, but did you say that I have a gift waiting for me? What could that be?
A gift? For me?
UNBELIEVEABLE MIRTH! MIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTH!
Torchic: A Fire-type Pokemon. This son of a bitch evolves into Blaziken, which is one of the fastest and heaviest-hitting Fire-type starters--hell, one of the best Fire-type Pokemon in general! He also adopts the Fighting-type and focuses mostly on his Attack stat with his type moves, meaning training him to whoop ass should be easy. Also, he gains Speed after every turn, so he'll usually be the first thing to deal damage in a fight...but that's only if you have the Hidden Ability...which he does.
You! You need to train! Come with me into the forest, little one! We have much to do--
You're already Lv. 10?! Holy shit! Umm...not much work needed then. Just more city exploration...and maybe buy a hat?
Ooh! I found someone who knows something about the first gym leader!
Viola, huh? And she's...a photographer? And she displays photos in her gym of...Bug-type Pokemon! Oh, this is going to be sweet! A Fire-type and two Flying-types! Excellent.
OH SHIT, THIS WOMAN KNOWS ABOUT ALL THE BADGES IN KALOS! YES I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEM!
Bug Badge: I'm gonna say Bug-type gym.
Cliff Badge: My money's on a Rock-type gym.
Rumble Badge: Probably a Fighting-type gym.
Plant Badge: Has to be a Grass-type gym.
Voltage Badge: I mean...it's gotta be an Electric-type gym.
Fairy Badge: Not...not a whole lot left to the imagination, huh?
Psychic Badge: ...yeah.
Iceberg Badge: Clearly, but wow, an Ice-type final gym? Cool.
OH GOD THE PUN! NO! NO! BAD! I DID BAD!
I'm just going to explore a bit more and then I'll see what this gym business is all about--
KID JUST HANDED ME A GREAT BALL WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN WHY MAKE THIS SO EASY ON ME DAMN YOU GAMEFREAK!
I'm just...gonna hold onto that for a while.
Hey lady, is the gym this way?
Your sister is the gym leader? And I can challenge her now?! Sweet! Let's see if this easy-mode bullshit continues through the first gym...
Why...why can't I walk passed you, mysterious lady? Why do you halt me?
Oh...is your sister not actually at the gym? God, another fucking gym-leader hunt. I'm getting Iridescence flashbacks...
Torchic, Lv. 10
Froakie, Lv. 9
Pidgey, Lv. 9
Fletchling, Lv. 8
Pokedex: 4, Badges: 0
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