God, is anybody else nervous? I just feel like I'm jumping in way too deep. I mean, for fuck's sake, Bulbapedia hasn't even caught up to all the new Pokemon yet! But, here's what you need to know:
This is me. I've just moved to Kalos, specifically Vaniville Town. Everything is French--
And my mother's little fuck-butt bird dive-bombed me in my sleep to wake me up this morning. Super duper. I guess this is around the time where I go out, meet the neighbors, meet the Professor, et cetera, et cetera, Pokemon League Champion? Let's do this thing...
IN EYE-POPPING, JAW-DROPPING 3D!!!!!
I...my eyes...I can't even...
HOLY SHIT, I CAN SPINT FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME?!?!
Also, finally, my mother has a bedroom? That's finally a very nice touch, GameFreak. Kudos.
Woah, two cute bitches waiting to welcome me to the town? Nice deal.
Serena and Shauna...yeah, how you doin'?
Professor Augustine Sycamore lives here? In this very town? Of all places? How fortunate. Does he have a Pokemon for me? Let's find out--
He requested five kids? Sycamore...
Oh, so we ARE getting a Pokemon--
Wait...how the fuck is five supposed to work? It's a choice between three, isn't it? What the fuck is going on?
And holy shit, my mother has a Rhyhorn, too?! Wow. Mom...good job there.
Aquacorde Town looks really nice, and the music is all kinds of perky--
Hey, there's Serena and Shauna...along with some fatty dancer named Tierno and a ginger academic named Trevor. I guess this is where I'm supposed to be--
Wait...they're discussing nicknames for me? K-Meister? Li'l K? Big K? Oh man...I get to choose?! Okay, I mean come on...if you know my last name, then you know what I have to pick.
Li'l K it is!
OH SHIT! HERE IT IS! THE MOMENT OF TRUTH! WHAT POKEMON TO PICK AS MY STARTER!
Let me get a drumroll going please...
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Froakie, bitch! This fucker turns into a Water/Dark Pokemon apparently. Froakie! Show me your darkness!
Fuck yeah, Froakie-bro!
You know what? It was recently brought to my attention that some of the readers might not be fully up to speed with Pokemon, so I'm gonna share my knowledge and opinions with y'all for each Pokemon I acquire, as well as give you a little link to Bulbapedia in order to research more on your own. I'll kind of be like your Pokedex...
Froakie: Water-type Pokemon. At this point, I don't know much about him other than his final form, Greninja, is a Water/Dark-type Pokemon, which means he'll be immune to Psychic-type attacks and will be the only starter strong against Ghost-types, but he'll end up being weak to Bug-type and Fighting-type moves...which I'm willing to risk because fucker looks baller as shit
You know what? It was recently brought to my attention that some of the readers might not be fully up to speed with Pokemon, so I'm gonna share my knowledge and opinions with y'all for each Pokemon I acquire, as well as give you a little link to Bulbapedia in order to research more on your own. I'll kind of be like your Pokedex...
Froakie: Water-type Pokemon. At this point, I don't know much about him other than his final form, Greninja, is a Water/Dark-type Pokemon, which means he'll be immune to Psychic-type attacks and will be the only starter strong against Ghost-types, but he'll end up being weak to Bug-type and Fighting-type moves...which I'm willing to risk because fucker looks baller as shit
Okay, Shauna picks Fennekin, and Serena picks Chespin--
Wait...is Serena my rival? But she's hot! I don't want us to fight...unless we hate-bang in the post-game. That would be bitchin'--
Trevor just handed me the Pokedex?! Do I not even get to meet the professor in this game? But goddamn, is everything streamlined like a motherfucker.
Okay, so I also have to give this letter to my mom from the professor? Why? That kind of seems suspicious...
What are you planning, Professor Rapewood?
Oh. I need a permission slip to be a Pokemon trainer? In Kanto, I ran into the tall grass and almost got killed if Professor Oak hadn't stopped me. I think things have gotten a little over-protective here in Kalos.
Wait, Shauna? I'm fighting you?! But...you have a Fennekin. I'm supposed to fight the Chespin, aren't I? Oh no...did they make the first battle you fight...winnable? That's almost disgusting.
OH! Froakie starts off knowing Bubble?! You've got to be shitting me! This is gonna be a massacre!
So Fennekin knows Ember starting off? I guess they've decided to give the starters a stab-attack early on. Long story short, Froakie destroys Fennekin with two Bubbles and levels up to Lv. 6.
Hey Mom, I'm gonna go be a Pokemon trainer now, okay?
Town Map and a change of clothes. Thanks! Alright, let's head back to Aquacorde and see what we can find!
Free Potion, knowledge of Santalune City being a fashion capital for young men, and a shop that sells only Pokeballs?! Holy shit, this game might have been perfectly designed for Nuzlocke runs! I will take 6 please. I mean, there's also a Potions shop, but if that asshole out front is giving them away for free, why should I bother buying them? Better business model, dude...get one.
Route 2 and tall grass...the first Pokemon I encounter in this world is...
A motherfucking Pidgey are you kidding me goddamn it they read the blog okay I have to catch it.
Caught. Yay.
Pidgey: Normal/Flying-type Pokemon. How the fuck do you not know Pidgey if you've played literally any other Pokemon game? Two evolutions, solid team-member, and immune to Ghost-type and Ground-type attacks, but for fuck's sake, he takes normal damage from Fighting-type moves, which Flying-types have no excuse for taking...but I love this hate-beast because he's been with me in almost every team I've ever devised.
Serena and Shauna again--
Are you...are you seriously trying to teach me how to catch Pokemon? Did you not just see me catch the fucking Pidgey twelve feet behind you?! Christ...alright, fine. Give me the rundown, bitches.
Wait...this bitch has a Chespin and a Fletchling? And now she has a Bunnelby? I have some catching up to do...good thing she gave me Pokeballs?! Wow, this game is all about freebies.
I haven't seen a Pokemon Center or a proper Pokemart yet...but Santalune forest stands between me and my future, so I guess I'm gonna head off there now--
FLETCHLING! FIRST KALOS! GIMME!
Fletchling: Normal/Flying-type Pokemon. I know what you're thinking, but hear me the fuck out first. His first evolution turns him into a Fire/Flying-type, just like Charizard, and he'll gain his deserved resistance to Fighting-type moves. Granted, he'll be x4 weak to Rock-type attacks, but he'll lose the weakness to Ice-type attacks as well, so he'll round off the Flying-type aspects of my team very well.
Fletchling: Normal/Flying-type Pokemon. I know what you're thinking, but hear me the fuck out first. His first evolution turns him into a Fire/Flying-type, just like Charizard, and he'll gain his deserved resistance to Fighting-type moves. Granted, he'll be x4 weak to Rock-type attacks, but he'll lose the weakness to Ice-type attacks as well, so he'll round off the Flying-type aspects of my team very well.
So...the forest. Shauna, come with me if you'd like--
You can heal my Pokemon? Oh yes...yes, you're coming with me.
By the way, I've decided not to do the whole complete-stat-thing whenever I catch a Pokemon. If I need you to know the stats, I'll put them up there, but otherwise, it would clog this shit up.
So yeah. Pokemon Y is underway!
Froakie, Lv. 7
Pidgey, Lv. 6
Fletchling, Lv. 3
Pokedex: 3, Badges: 0
Pokedex: 3, Badges: 0
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